If you are interested in personal coaching, you can email me at mindfulcoachingandtherapy@gmail.com
Blessing in Disguise....what is it? I wrote a blog earlier about disappointment and I touched a little on blessings in disguise. I think a blessing in disguise is a miracle handed to you on a silver platter. Whether you believing in God or not, what ever you call your Higher Power, these are handed to us in the most frustrating, stressful or disappointing times. I believe, sometimes a blessing in disguise can even stop us from doing something we shouldn't do or even need to do. Case in point, you need to pay a bill, and you expect to have the money, but something happens to keep you from sending the money, which then would only incur fees, if you wrote a bad check. Or, when you are supposed to be somewhere and you hit ever red light on the way, the Universe is telling you to slow down so you can avoid causing or being in an accident that just happened two minutes ahead of you, causing you to be just as late.
When we open ourselves up and allow God or the Universe to direct us and guide us, we are allowing the blessing in disguise to move towards us and we can see the miracle for what it is. We may be given a reprieve from something that has been keeping us stuck and allowing us to take a step back to see another avenue or another direction. This next month I will be granted time to finish some projects that have been placed on hold, because of something I didn't follow through on, though I had every intention, but small road blocks where placed before me that if I allowed myself to think negatively, I would be frustrated or stressed.
Allow yourself to not get caught up in the negative of the moment, and see that there could very well be a blessing in disguise in your situation. You have the power to accept the situation for what it is, and allow the blessing to happen. You have the power and its in them shoes.
Make it a great day! Blessings!
This blog is to help remind women, they can keep their power. Mary Speight, MA, LMFT is an Author, Reiki Practitioner, Relationship Coach and Licensed Therapist.
Just Fix it!
I believe most people are able to make decisions and follow through without need of assistance, but there are few of us out there that struggle and we look for someone to show us how to change things for ourselves.
We all have the know how to take care of ourselves. We know when something is wrong, ie, when we are catching a cold or feel a headache coming on. We also know when something emotionally and mentally isn't right with ourselves, yet, unlike taking an aspirin or going for the homeopathic to stop the cold quicker, we want to become powerless, or the victim. There is no power in playing the victim. Let me say that again, THERE IS NO POWER IN PLAYING THE VICTIM.
I have a client who shared a story with me about how her husband would ignore her phone calls or text messages after a while. She wasn't calling to nag or text to remind him of something, but, sometimes she was calling to talk on the commute home from work or even inviting him out to meet her for dinner. This soon became habitual and she was growing angrier and angrier each time he did it. One night after work, she called him and this time he answered. She explained to him she didn't like that he was ignoring her calls or text messages and she didn't care about the excuses or his justifications, but only that he needed to fix it. She explained he knew what the problem was and she didn't care to know, but only that he fix it.
When I heard this I loved it! She wouldn't allow herself to be a victim, to run the what ifs in her head, ie, "What if he is with another woman?" "What if he were this or that?" those things never really seemed to cross her mind, if they did, she didn't allow them to take root. She empowered herself and stood up for herself and recognized it wasn't her problem, but his.
We all have things in our lives that we don't want to deal with or look at or even consider, but, sometimes we allow ourselves to become victims to those circumstances, issues or situations. Stand up for herself, empower yourself and just fix it! No more excuses. Ladies, the power is in them shoes!
We all have the know how to take care of ourselves. We know when something is wrong, ie, when we are catching a cold or feel a headache coming on. We also know when something emotionally and mentally isn't right with ourselves, yet, unlike taking an aspirin or going for the homeopathic to stop the cold quicker, we want to become powerless, or the victim. There is no power in playing the victim. Let me say that again, THERE IS NO POWER IN PLAYING THE VICTIM.
I have a client who shared a story with me about how her husband would ignore her phone calls or text messages after a while. She wasn't calling to nag or text to remind him of something, but, sometimes she was calling to talk on the commute home from work or even inviting him out to meet her for dinner. This soon became habitual and she was growing angrier and angrier each time he did it. One night after work, she called him and this time he answered. She explained to him she didn't like that he was ignoring her calls or text messages and she didn't care about the excuses or his justifications, but only that he needed to fix it. She explained he knew what the problem was and she didn't care to know, but only that he fix it.
When I heard this I loved it! She wouldn't allow herself to be a victim, to run the what ifs in her head, ie, "What if he is with another woman?" "What if he were this or that?" those things never really seemed to cross her mind, if they did, she didn't allow them to take root. She empowered herself and stood up for herself and recognized it wasn't her problem, but his.
We all have things in our lives that we don't want to deal with or look at or even consider, but, sometimes we allow ourselves to become victims to those circumstances, issues or situations. Stand up for herself, empower yourself and just fix it! No more excuses. Ladies, the power is in them shoes!
Power in disappointmet
I don't think anyone wants to be disappointed, but if we look at disappointment that it can be a blessing in disguise, I believe there would be a greater sense of understanding, that not all things are going to work to our advantage right off the bat, or that what we think is good for us, really isn't.
I'm thinking about times I have been disappointed throughout my life. I've also thought of times when I have disappointed others, realizing that I wasn't meant to be either in their lives or they in mine, or the timing wasn't right. I am currently providing therapy for a eight year old, boy, who can't seem to let go of the idea that when someone does him wrong, he is entitled to stay angry about it all day long, even into his evening. At eight years old, life is unfair, in fact, life is always unfair, but, at what point do we come to the realization that life is full of disappointments, but, we don't need to stay angry and hurt all day long, even carrying it into our evening. (Rest of our lives).
The power I am speaking of is understanding that you don't have to allow an unfair situation keep you from looking forward or ahead in life. Sometimes when something unfair happens, ie, denied something that you want, it can be a blessing in disguise. Looking back at those things that I thought was a disappointment turned out to be a blessing. I loved and lived with a man for 12 years and it was an emotionally abusive relationship, but, I wanted to be married to him and have a family. Now, that we are no longer together and I am emotionally healthy, I can see that being married to him wouldn't have been a blessing, at all, but, a nightmare and I could have carried the emotion of disappointment with me well into other relationships. I could have given my power to the disappointment allowing it to feed and make my life unbearable.
When life seems to throw you a disappointment, try to take a step back and not give power to the emotion of sadness or anger. Allow the process to happen, and give yourself a chance to let what the real blessing is meant to be-happen. You have the power and its in them shoes.
I'm thinking about times I have been disappointed throughout my life. I've also thought of times when I have disappointed others, realizing that I wasn't meant to be either in their lives or they in mine, or the timing wasn't right. I am currently providing therapy for a eight year old, boy, who can't seem to let go of the idea that when someone does him wrong, he is entitled to stay angry about it all day long, even into his evening. At eight years old, life is unfair, in fact, life is always unfair, but, at what point do we come to the realization that life is full of disappointments, but, we don't need to stay angry and hurt all day long, even carrying it into our evening. (Rest of our lives).
The power I am speaking of is understanding that you don't have to allow an unfair situation keep you from looking forward or ahead in life. Sometimes when something unfair happens, ie, denied something that you want, it can be a blessing in disguise. Looking back at those things that I thought was a disappointment turned out to be a blessing. I loved and lived with a man for 12 years and it was an emotionally abusive relationship, but, I wanted to be married to him and have a family. Now, that we are no longer together and I am emotionally healthy, I can see that being married to him wouldn't have been a blessing, at all, but, a nightmare and I could have carried the emotion of disappointment with me well into other relationships. I could have given my power to the disappointment allowing it to feed and make my life unbearable.
When life seems to throw you a disappointment, try to take a step back and not give power to the emotion of sadness or anger. Allow the process to happen, and give yourself a chance to let what the real blessing is meant to be-happen. You have the power and its in them shoes.
My birthday month and I'm feeling empowered!
Typically, most women don't want to celebrate their birthdays. They don't want to recognize they are getting another year older and that life is passing them by, or that they haven't accomplished everything they wanted in life.
I love my birthdays. Usually when November 1st hits, I am excited. I am living with much anticipation of what is to come, not just for the day, but, for another year of life. I always celebrated my birthday. Usually with cake and ice cream and my parents singing Happy Birthday to me and this year will be no different, except, my father has been dead for 12 years and in honoring him on my day, I buy a small white cake (he liked white cake) and usually at around dinner time, 5 or 6 pm, I spend time with him, hearing him sing Happy Birthday to me.
I saw a movie today, Last Vegas with Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline. It was a great movie and there is a line where Michael Douglas's character, Billy, says that he is old and to be with a younger woman made him feel young again. Seventeen was just a few years ago, and then you turn around and its gone. (I paraphrased that). But, I so know what he means, but, I am enjoying this process of maturing and becoming wiser as I age. Certain things no longer matter and the responsibilities I have no longer seem so insurmountable, but very doable, they aren't responsibilities, they are a part of life. Becoming wiser and more mature, means realizing that I have the POWER to be and do and have and no longer accept what I don't want in my life. Since I turned 40 and every year I've been blessed to receive, I have come to realize that certain things are no longer that important and I can have my life anyway I want it. If I want to be unhappy, I can be, and it is unfair for me to ask others to join in my pity parties, so, I chose to be happy, but not just content. I want more than what I have, meaning, I want better than what I have and still thoroughly enjoy what I do have, I just more of it. :-) and I can make it that way, because I know that I am empowered to do so. I don't need someone else to give me what I want, its a lot more fun when I can share it with my loved ones, friends and family, but, I am okay being alone, because I'm not lonely. I can say, I love myself and mean it, and honestly say, I like who I am and where I am going in my life, because I, by the Grace of God, am able to do so.
I will be 46 years old on the 21st of November and every day this month I am celebrating my life by doing things I want to do when I want to do it. I am no longer neglecting myself or putting me on the back burner, done that for a while now. So, I am challenging myself and I am challenging you, no matter how old you are, create a bucket list. I'm redoing my bucket list and by the time I turn 50 there will be things I will accomplish, because I can. Because there is power in my shoes!
I love my birthdays. Usually when November 1st hits, I am excited. I am living with much anticipation of what is to come, not just for the day, but, for another year of life. I always celebrated my birthday. Usually with cake and ice cream and my parents singing Happy Birthday to me and this year will be no different, except, my father has been dead for 12 years and in honoring him on my day, I buy a small white cake (he liked white cake) and usually at around dinner time, 5 or 6 pm, I spend time with him, hearing him sing Happy Birthday to me.
I saw a movie today, Last Vegas with Michael Douglas, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline. It was a great movie and there is a line where Michael Douglas's character, Billy, says that he is old and to be with a younger woman made him feel young again. Seventeen was just a few years ago, and then you turn around and its gone. (I paraphrased that). But, I so know what he means, but, I am enjoying this process of maturing and becoming wiser as I age. Certain things no longer matter and the responsibilities I have no longer seem so insurmountable, but very doable, they aren't responsibilities, they are a part of life. Becoming wiser and more mature, means realizing that I have the POWER to be and do and have and no longer accept what I don't want in my life. Since I turned 40 and every year I've been blessed to receive, I have come to realize that certain things are no longer that important and I can have my life anyway I want it. If I want to be unhappy, I can be, and it is unfair for me to ask others to join in my pity parties, so, I chose to be happy, but not just content. I want more than what I have, meaning, I want better than what I have and still thoroughly enjoy what I do have, I just more of it. :-) and I can make it that way, because I know that I am empowered to do so. I don't need someone else to give me what I want, its a lot more fun when I can share it with my loved ones, friends and family, but, I am okay being alone, because I'm not lonely. I can say, I love myself and mean it, and honestly say, I like who I am and where I am going in my life, because I, by the Grace of God, am able to do so.
I will be 46 years old on the 21st of November and every day this month I am celebrating my life by doing things I want to do when I want to do it. I am no longer neglecting myself or putting me on the back burner, done that for a while now. So, I am challenging myself and I am challenging you, no matter how old you are, create a bucket list. I'm redoing my bucket list and by the time I turn 50 there will be things I will accomplish, because I can. Because there is power in my shoes!
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