I've been thinking about self-esteem and how it plays into our thoughts of empowerment or feeling that we are or aren't powerful.
I am certain there are plenty of powerful women in this world who don't feel pretty, but, yet, are highly capable of running their country, their communities, their corporations, families, etc. But, why is it that beauty has be rolled up into power? Personally, I think, sexy rolls up into power or empowerment, but, if you aren't feeling sexy, then you aren't exactly feeling pretty, are you?
When I work with young girls, preteens and teenagers and self-esteem is the issue, I discuss with them what their definition of pretty or beautiful would be. And then I ask them, what do you think power or being empowered is? Its interesting the varying answers. But, the underlying message is still the same, because something didn't work out or someone doesn't like them, its all has to do with looks or not being this or that, or having this or that, ie, the right clothes, the right car, hanging out with the wrong crowd or the right crowd.
I find it alarming when an 8 year old (who is still very much growing and hasn't started puberty, yet) says she feels fat, or the clothes she wears are uncomfortable and she's fat. This isn't the message she gets from her mother, but that isn't always the case, either. She doesn't seem to get the concept that she is still growing and maturing and her body is changing and morphing and she isn't fat. These concepts aren't just female specific. Young boys and men can have these same thoughts and ideas of low self-esteem.
So, how can I increase my self-esteem? I have an older sister, who I always admired and thought was beautiful and I still do. She attempted to be like a mentor to me and I can remember being in junior high school, that awkward time and age when we aren't finished growing and we are so not anywhere near being mature. But she told me there were a few things that won't make me beautiful, smoking like a chimney, (don't even start smoking), don't drink beer from a bottle (I don't even like beer) and this one came later when I was going out with friends and dancing, dance with the "ugly" boy, because the "good looking" one is watching. Those are a few things and there were countless others, but, the one that has always stuck with me is this, I have long fingers and I am the only female in the family who's able to grow out her nails (outside of my mother) and my sister told me to start painting my nails. To this day, when I am NOT feeling my best, I paint my nails. I have a crazy bag of nail polish, too.
Do I feel empowered once my nails are painted? Quite honestly, I can say yes! Play up what you feel is your best quality. Whether its physical or mental, you have the power to change yourself and the way you think about yourself. You don't have to wait for someone to come along and tell you so and if they tell you different, then you know you don't have to accept it as truth.
http://youtu.be/Ye7PIyIcCro
The video of Maria in Westside Story singing "I feel pretty"
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